What’s with the twenty-somethings calling me ma’am? While this may have been a sign of respect in the days of the jitterbug or on opening night of Gone with the Wind (“Excuse me, ma’am, your ball gown is caught in the door”), it is now 2009. Today, it has ageist connotations, making me want to rush off for a quick Botox treatment.
While many women in the over 60 crowd may appreciate being addressed as ma’am, women in their 30’s and 40’s do not. We already have enough reminders that we’ve shed our youth: stronger prescription lenses, mammograms, and semi-permanent hair color. The last thing we need is someone in her twenties reminding us that we aren’t anymore. Just because we are chronologically older does not mean we are old.
I am not uncomfortable with my age. I just don’t like what is implied by the ma’am—Hey, ya old bag! Can I direct you toward the adult diapers? Help you find the polyester pants? Many of the women I know in their 30’s and 40’s are in much better shape than those twenty-somethings. We’re more grounded, more sure of ourselves, and (may I add) still young.
In the olden days, ma’am (or madam) was a sign of respect for a woman, much like sir is used for a man. But, I am not alone in my perception that it actually comes across as disrespectful. I mean, in a few years, those twenty-five-year-olds are going to be thirty-five-year-olds. Then they will be the ones complaining that someone younger called them ma’am, and that will be just swell.
While many women in the over 60 crowd may appreciate being addressed as ma’am, women in their 30’s and 40’s do not. We already have enough reminders that we’ve shed our youth: stronger prescription lenses, mammograms, and semi-permanent hair color. The last thing we need is someone in her twenties reminding us that we aren’t anymore. Just because we are chronologically older does not mean we are old.
I am not uncomfortable with my age. I just don’t like what is implied by the ma’am—Hey, ya old bag! Can I direct you toward the adult diapers? Help you find the polyester pants? Many of the women I know in their 30’s and 40’s are in much better shape than those twenty-somethings. We’re more grounded, more sure of ourselves, and (may I add) still young.
In the olden days, ma’am (or madam) was a sign of respect for a woman, much like sir is used for a man. But, I am not alone in my perception that it actually comes across as disrespectful. I mean, in a few years, those twenty-five-year-olds are going to be thirty-five-year-olds. Then they will be the ones complaining that someone younger called them ma’am, and that will be just swell.
Ma'am doesn't bother me. 40 is the new 30.
ReplyDeleteDisrespect does. What's the line from Fried Green Tomatoes--"I'm older and I have better insurance." This after the young whipper snappers take the parking spot she is waiting for. I love that scene.
It has bothered me for awhile, but now that I'm hearing it more frequently, it must mean I am looking even older than before. It just seems like such an antiquated word--something that should be used when addressing the queen. Just me, I guess.
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