You're So...Really?

I've posted this on my son's blog, but decided to post it here, as well. This is a topic that more than touches a nerve with me and is a very real part of my life (and our family's). 

I hear you (believe me, you’ve forced me to listen): Freedom of Speech.

I know the argument; it’s been used to death: Literary license.

But guess what? Those excuses to say or write disparaging and hurtful things in reference to a whole population of beautiful people are just that…excuses. And I, for one, am so done with them.

You know the word I’m talking about.

Retard.

Or retarded.

Or ‘tard.

I’ve heard people use it to mean “stupid” or “foolish” or when addressing someone who is not acting the way he or she should be. It is meant to link someone’s less-than-intelligent behavior with cognitive disabilities, Down syndrome, CP, and Trisomy 18 to name just a few, thereby victimizing and undervaluing people who have never done a single thing to harm anyone else. These are people who are loved, people who bring joy and happiness to others’ lives, and people who have no control over their diagnoses. But you can control your language. You can show compassion.

I’ve lost respect for writers who have used the word in their screenplays, directors who have allowed it in their films and television shows, and authors who’ve inserted it in their books. I don’t give a @#$% about literary or poetic license or if the word fits the character. Get an f----ing dictionary! You’re a writer, for goodness sake! Whether spoken or written, it’s time to display some sensitivity. To stop discriminating.

Today is Spread the Word to End the Word Day. Please think before you speak. Please realize the pain you inflict when you casually toss out the r-word. In the end, the ones who use the r-word are the ones who come out looking like the least educated people in the bunch.

Compassion and awareness go a long way.

The Controversy Over Controversial Words

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In the past, I have written about my cringe factor over hearing or reading the word “retard”. It personally hits home for me since my youngest son has Trisomy 18 and global disabilities. I'm going to confess upfront: I'm affronted when I hear it. Often enraged. But there was a time in the past when I had used it myself. I'm certainly not proud of that. But there it is.

So that got me to thinking about the swirling controversy over words and the way they are used. Here are some examples: Retard (as in “I am such a retard); gay (as in “That shirt is so gay”); nigga (as in “Joe is my nigga”). This language is, in my opinion, completely unoriginal and totally offensive.

I’ve heard these arguments before:

·       Freedom of Speech. People should be able to say whatever they want without being censored. While that is true—and I am a proponent of First Amendment rights—what about freedom from being persecuted? Especially in terms of those (like my son) who have no voice?

·       Mark Twain used offensive language, and his works are classics. Okay. But Twain is now dead. He isn’t living in 2012 where I would like to think we have advanced somewhat since the 19^th Century.

·       Artistic/Poetic license. I’m all for that, too. But if one’s art needs to contain language that hurts people, maybe the artist should revisit his art and artistic abilities. Is it art or shock value?  

I’m not saying words such as these should be banned because I know this usually puts half the free world up in arms. What I am saying is that those who use these words need to remember they do not live on a deserted island. Is it worth defending freedom of speech at the price of compassion?

What are you thoughts on the use of this type of language?

Have you ever used it in your work? Laughed at its use in a movie?

Any thoughts on the subject? (I promise not to remove you from my GFC list for being honest).

BTW...here are some alternatives:

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Book Review: An Abundance of Katherines

From Goodreads:

When it comes to relationships, Colin Singleton’s type is girls named Katherine. And when it comes to girls named Katherine, Colin is always getting dumped. Nineteen times, to be exact.

On a road trip miles from home, this anagram-happy, washed-up child prodigy has ten thousand dollars in his pocket, a bloodthirsty feral hog on his trail, and an overweight, Judge Judy-loving best friend riding shotgun but no Katherines. Colin is on a mission to prove The Theorem of Underlying Katherine Predictability, which he hopes will predict the future of any relationship, avenge Dumpees everywhere, and finally win him the girl.

Love, friendship, and a dead Austro-Hungarian archduke add up to surprising and heart-changing conclusions in this ingeniously layered comic novel about reinventing oneself by Printz medalist John Green, acclaimed author of Looking for Alaska.

Let me begin by saying I thoroughly enjoyed and appreciated Looking for Alaska. So when I picked up An Abundance of Katherines, I expected it to be a great novel, as well. I was extremely disappointed. Aside from the sidekick character of Hassan—who I found somewhat likeable—the other characters were severely lacking in the likeability category. In fact, I honestly did not care what happened to Colin or Lindsey Lee Wells or practically anyone else for that matter.

The story as a whole tends to drag, and the ending with the boxes and the secret phone calls was highly predictable. In so many ways, I expected so much more from John Green.

In fact, anyone who is familiar with this blog and the one I write for my son, Zane, knows how I feel about the word “retarded” when it is used to insult and humiliate others. I counted its appearance—in its many (and may I add, incorrect) forms--a total of fives times: retard, tard, retarded. FYI, John Green: retard is not grammatically correct when used as a noun. When it is used in that fashion, it is only meant to demean a whole population of people who cannot defend themselves.

I can give a writer poetic license if he or she uses the word to paint a picture of a particular character (namely one who is insensitive, ignorant, that sort of thing). But that is not the case here. It is not one character if particular who uses the slur. So I don't believe (and please correct me if I am wrong) the word is used for that purpose. That being said, after the first time the word appeared, I already considered closing the book. Much to my chagrin, I read on.

***Off my soap box now***

Bottom line: I would not recommend this book to a friend or even an acquaintance or someone who I want to punish by having them waste hours of their time. If you’re looking for a good John Green read, pick up Looking for Alaska.

Also, if you are interested in reading another perspective on the word "retard", most definitely visit Rob Rummel-Hudson's blog.

Slurs

The words “gay” and “retarded” are commonly used when people are referring to someone or something that is stupid or idiotic. These words have a made a huge departure from their original and intended meanings. I’ve written about the slur “retard” before. My friend, Pam, provided me with this NPR link, which is worth checking out. Thanks, Pam.


http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112479383&sc=emaf