Susan Oloier, Author

This month Christine from All About Mom Sense and Nadia from Musings...By Light of the Moon are hosting a May Mom Blog Hop to celebrate a whole month of motherhood, rather than the one, designated day. Today is my day to host.

My journey through motherhood has been a winding and sometimes meandering path through wide-reaching and diverse landscapes: beautiful mountain peaks in the distance; low valleys through a seemingly waterless and arid desert.

My husband and I enjoyed six years of outdoor adventure and travel together before pregnancy became a new fork on the trail of our lives. It was 2002 when I took a pregnancy test and watched the inky blue line come up positive. I was ready for the change in topography, ready for a new expedition. I changed my eating habits, watched the lima bean of a human—one with a beating heart—on a sonogram monitor, made plans, told everyone. And then at twelve weeks of pregnancy, on a rock climbing outing, I felt a surge of abdominal pain. I miscarried. And I had never felt such grief before. Few seemed to understand my pain.

Somehow, I found the legs to stand and get back on the path of life again. Three months later, I was once again pregnant. But the happiness did not last. I miscarried again. With the second miscarriage, I trudged forward. I was nearing completion of my Masters degree—in the middle of a student-teaching gig—I had to move forward. There was little time for grief.

Today I have two wonderful sons, Justin (6) who is gifted, creative, and vibrant.

And Zane (4) who is non-judgmental, pure, and joyous.

Both lie on opposite ends of a spectrum: one gifted; one with special needs.

My pregnancy and first year with Justin was like an easy movement through lush meadows of wildflowers, past percolating streams, and through verdant valleys. It teemed with life. But to appreciate the fullness in life, we have to know the emptiness, too.

In 2006, during a year-long road trip (see Our Life on the Road website here), I was pregnant again. My husband considered abandoning our trip only five days into it; there was no way to have a baby on the road. I convinced him we could. We continued on. In December, our younger son (Zane) was born. But things were not typical. Zane was shy of four pounds on his due date. He had low Apgar scores. He spent 17 days in the NICU on CPAP and monitors. They told us he would die. Five days later, they diagnosed with Trisomy 18, which is almost always fatal. Only 10 percent of children with it live to their first birthdays.

But Zane did not die. He continues to live—and thrive. We shower him with love. And in what we believed was a desolate place, we have found time to stop, look around, and see the beauty in having and loving him—in loving both of our boys. We have learned that life is meant to be appreciated—moment by moment. Because none of us is promised tomorrow.

Yes, motherhood has taken me through so many terrains. Many of which I never imagined for myself. But I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Tomorrow, stop by and visit Elizabeth at Mother's Gilt for the next post in the blog hop.